PDP FC VS APC FC

– BY @EZEKIEL EFEOBHOKHAN

MARCH 27, 2015

Those of us familiar with the football parlance would understand what the Spanish word el clasicosuggests. The game never fails to thrill football fans worldwide. But this, PDP vs. APC, is a political contest. Hence, a political el clasico; a show of sheer brawn.

It is a game of franchise and anthropological significance. Just like in football, supporters of these two parties have not failed to vehemently express their stern solidarity for their choice candidates in this forth coming election. Political fans have embroiled themselves in the oral battle of name calling. They use words – uncouth language, that is – to run down their political opponent. It baffles me, how they knavishly larch on propaganda to spread their guile. All like wild fire. From Whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter and down to checking your airtime balance.

Footballers are usually known by their soccer skills. Every player ought to possess a particular skill in order to make his side be at an advantage to win. Although this writer does not claim to be a political virtuoso, yet he has failed to see any political skill that any of our top presidential aspirants possesses. What we have at best is just senseless dribbling and indiscriminate volleys that result in worrisome goal kicks.

Unlike Lionel Messi who is usually known for his speed and quick moves with the ball and his rival Cristiano Ronaldo who is known for his pace and logarithmic step-overs, I have not seen any skill so far. Yes, no skill, in any of the two top contenders for the presidential elections. You can quote that!

Almost all the time, President Goodluck Jonathan of the People’s Democratic Party PDP is usually referred to as the great transformer, and he is equated with the likes of President Barrack Obama and Mahatma Ghandi of India; no thanks to our television and radio stations who take delight in filling our ears with all sort of numerical garbage. Jonathan must have done many good things in office but he is nowhere near transforming it. No, not the country that still imports peanuts, rice and other petty things like rat poison. This writer can’t just understand how and where this transformation had taken place.

Was it in the sudden and sorrowful transformation of our hapless sisters, the Chibok girls, from the cool warmth of their parents to a God-knows-where location? Or the transformation of our costly oil into a haven of black and worthless fluid? Is it the kerosene that now sells for N130 per liter if you are lucky enough to find it in our filling stations?

Truth be told, Jonathan had transformed our positive savings in World Bank by adding a negative sign. Our debts are sky rocketing. I almost forgot the megawatts of darkness routinely harvested from our estranged power distribution company who derive joy in distributing darkness to all nooks and crannies of the country.

My readers may want to confirm the price of a bag of cement. Did I hear someone say N1800? That’s more than a 75% increase to what our president had promised. How can an economy that has been undergoing transformation suddenly slump into a depression? Are these the type of transformation skills he’s got?

The transformation train surely had a stop at our anti-graft agencies, as we now recently saw the difference between corruption and grand theft! Yet, Nigerians still have some scary questions to ask. Questions like, what happened to the $3 million Farouk Lawal bribery scandal, the $6.8 billion petroleum subsidy scam, the N60 billion police pension scam, the Oduah N225 million car scandal, the N10 billion Allison-Madueke’s jet scandal, and the missing $20 billion from the federation account. Stealing or corruption, we actually don’t care anymore, just bring back our money!

Let’s come over to APC, the self-acclaimed agents of change. This party is currently filled with political hangers-on who for the sake of power had betrayed the PDP for APC. A larger percent of the political aspirants of this party are political prostitutes who had dined and wined under the PDP umbrella only to later discover how important the broom was. Remember, when a stubborn and rebellious student changes his institution of learning, it does not simply guarantee that the student had automatically changed his wayward ways. Only uniform is changed and not attitude.

Mohammadu Buhari, the APC presidential candidate was formerly a chieftain in the allegedly corrupt People’s Democratic Party. So, who is the change? The party or the aspirants? APC is currently flooded with PDP deserters. Buhari is often referred to as a disciplinarian. But judging from antecedent and critical examination, this writer has failed to see any iota of discipline in any of his recent or past actions.

Was it by using his political influence to inflict exaggerated penalties on his political opponents? Or by jailing a political thief for up to 66 years even after knowing that the soul of such individual would not last another decade in its mortal body? Or was it the disciplinary measures meted out to the then Emir of Kano for exercising his freedom of movement to Israel because Nigeria and Israel were not on good diplomatic relationship as at that time?

Buharists have never failed to amaze me as they continue to rant this discipline as if they needed a Pharaohic taskmaster at their behind whipping their way into a painful and hell-like regime. Or do these political fanatics forget that there is a stark difference between a disciplinarian and a fanatic? The danger in this manner of thinking, in resting inexorably on the strength of one’s strong false convictions is that sometimes, unknown to us, we may just be sitting on a stock of timed explosives; or worse, we may get locked up in our own maximum prison. Consider the mirthless incongruity of having to tear down a prison door to save a prisoner from himself.
Recall the judicial processes undergone by the septuagenarian Chief Adekunle Ajasin. He was arraigned and tried before Buhari’s punitive tribunal but acquitted. Dissatisfied, Buhari ordered his re-trial. Again, the tribunal could not find this man guilty of a single crime, so once again he was returned for trial, only to be acquitted of all charges of corruption or abuse of office. Was Chief Ajasin thereby released? No! He was ordered detained indefinitely, simply for the crime of winning an election and refusing to knuckle under Shagari’s reign of terror. I am sure that’s the kind of ‘discipline’ we do want! Abuse of judicial processes, huh?

Most bitterly is that some writers have joined in this disappointing milieu in the recent indiscriminate cry of their “Mr. Disciplinarian”. I cannot help but see the picture of writers behind bars noodling away in their quiet, lonely world. No, not quite like Kirikiri, Nigeria’s hell-hole misnamed maximum security prison, but a windowless semi-lit enclosure, where a self- imprisoned, languid inmate finds peace and liberty. This is the inescapable image that forms in my mind when I read the works of those writers, who for sentiments, project a particular aspirants in their literature.

Why is Nigeria so blessed with first hand disappointment as political leaders? Why on earth, is the country always seated comfortably between the devil and the deep blue sea? That, out of the avalanche of corrupt and morally degraded top politicians we have, we are stuck with these two side distractions! Bad political clubs with bad or expired players!

Most of the time, you are caught between laughing off the multi-dimensional crises plaguing this country or employing laughter as a form of catharsis to blurt out the gory details of a nation that has refused to grow out of the embryo of bad leadership. Who will point the way toward a glorious Nigeria, where there would be power stability, elimination of Boko Haram, job creation, zero tolerance for corruption and the likes? Who will recognize our education as a priority and do everything in his power to forestall further academic strike? Who will create jobs for our searing labor market? Who will give more grants to students and make education free for Nigerians? This is not too much to ask from these two aspirants in case any eventually becomes president.

Now, would the Independent National Electoral Commission remain truly independent? Would Prof Attahiru Jega be bold enough to contain these two aspirants without fear of favoritism and ethnicity? INEC should know this: the common man wants his vote to count. As we cast out votes today, INEC should be cautious enough to know that the unity of the Nigeria depends on how free and fair this election is conducted.

Lastly, INEC should beware that an el classico such as this could be volatile and may turn out violent if the fans dare smell any partial decision by the umpires. A word is enough for the wise.