EZEKIEL THE TEACHER; MARY, MARY WHY ME

EZEKIEL THE TEACHER: “…MARY, MARY, WHY ME!”

I just finished secondary school and I was so raring to be self-dependent. After much deliberations, I decided that ‘teaching’ was the best option. This ‘young-looking-self dependent-boy’ carved out his application letter in the most artistry manner and then marched into the nearest primary school. I was directed to the principal’s office. I sat down with an air of confidence and my usual smiles beaming out ‘assurances of hope’.

After reading my application letter the principal said “young boy, you are very smart and clever, I should have given you the job but your height doesn’t match your academic excellence”. Oh! I exclaimed. “Common, don’t judge by the outwards but judge righteous judgment, man looketh at the outwards, please look at the inwards, sir”.

This my ‘academic excellence’ as he puts it, was judged by the way my application letter was written (I had an oxford dictionary then) and not by certification or qualification. I had no certificate yet!

“Any way”, she continued, “let me test your teaching skills, if you teach very well you would have the job”.

“Good”! I said to myself. I applied all the comic techniques I had accumulated during my secondary school days to teach the pupils and by the time I was done they were all reeling in laughter. Just then the principal came in to ask “do you like your new teacher?” They all chorused “Yeeeeeees”!

“I made it”, I said to myself. To the best of my knowledge, I was the ‘best-youngest-self-dependent-teacher’. I was 16 years old at that time.

One challenge was that I didn’t tell my parents before embarking on this job seeking campaign. He immediately placed me on a 3,500 monthly salary. I actually had no choice. I was to resume that same day.

After the introduction to the job in the principal’s office, I was on my way to the class to start my duty when the proprietor came around to inspect the school. She immediately mistook me for a primary six pupil who was dressed on mufti. “Come here”,she said in a commanding tone. “Where is your uniform”? She added without waiting for my reply.

I looked back to see if there was any one behind me. When I realized that there was no one behind, I smiled. Coming closer to me,she said “Who are you smiling at”? She grabbed the nearest cane and was pacing towards my direction.The principal on noticing the opprobrium hollered “he is a teacher oh!”

I was speechless and dump founded, embarrassed, shocked and humiliated.

The proprietor had to fire me that same day of my employment on the note that I was too short for the job. This was after giving me a 500 naira compensation.

As I walked home I began to think about the embarrassment I just received. All in the search for self-dependency.

I told my parents and they frowned at my ineptitude, they then placed me on house arrest with a monthly allowance of 3000 naira. At least, that was irrespective of my height.

But few weeks later, I persuaded them that I couldn’t stay idle, “an idle mind is the devils workshop”.

It is an evil thing to be the devils workman, not to talk of his own workshop! “Please Dad, let me go and look for a job”. This time, he helped me got one.

He told a friend who called their own friend, who was a principal and then I was able to secure a teaching job where I met Mary.

Mary was a smart, brilliant and beautiful girl; she caught my attention immediately I entered the class. It was the primary one class.

Mary’s elder sister was in the primary 5 class. I usually teach her class whenever their teacher ran out of idea on how to resolve some of their mathematical exercises. I won her (Mary’s sister) a lot of leverage and she was spared from several punishment during episodes of her misdemeanor.
Mary was a ‘noise maker’ and this caused me a lot of trouble as my class was opposite the principal’s office. The principal would always yell, “Why is your class noisy”?
The use of Cain was prohibited. “Punishment is better”; the principal always ingeminated during staff meetings.

On this fateful day, Mary as usual, began her ‘noise-crusade’. I commanded her to kneel in front of the class which she obediently did. I was immediately sent on an errand by the principal and this took me a while to return. I apologized for making her kneel for so long. I felt the duration she knelt was too much for ‘meager’ offences like noise making; after all, I was a noise baron during my primary school days. She went to her seat grudgingly.

The very next day; after giving a few examples on the black board, I decided to have take a break. I commanded the class to rest their head on the desk. They all obeyed.
After a while; say about 30 minutes, (I cannot recollect the exact duration). I decided to give the class an exercise to do. “All stand”. They all did, except for some pupils who were already asleep. “Wake them up” I said in a harsh tone. They woke up except Mary, I went hurriedly to her and shook her with all the energy left in me, yet she wasn’t waking!

I dashed to the principal’s office. “Sir, Mary refused to wake”.“What do you mean” he replied with shock and anger written all over his face. He came to the class and saw her presumed lifeless body on the desk. He ordered every pupil out of the class. Mary’s sister was asked if Mary had an underlying ailment. This she objected to. The clock ticked, yet Mary was still in wonder land. Her legs, hands and her eyes were moving. She wasn’t dead, she wasn’t asleep and she wasn’t awake either.

The principal gave her series of slaps that would deafen a full grown man, yet this girl moved no muscle!  Everyone started giving their solutions to the problem, a teacher said; “let us put fire in her legs she would definitely wake”, another teacher countered the idea as that was too gross.
The intricacies of having to bring Mary back to life (or in this case-- awake), was unknown to me, as I was not spiritually inclined; carnal boy! I couldn’t pray. My eyes were now red and watery. The principal started his tongues; “…rabababababata, Maryyyyyy, wake uuuuuupppp!
Hmmm, she remained ‘deadish’.

Just then Mary’s elder sister called me aside and asked, “Did you offend Mary”? I hurriedly answered, “No, I didn’t”. After a while, I remembered yesterday’s experience where she had to kneel for so long. Oh yes; I explained Mary’s experience the previous day to her.
“Mary is trying to get her pounds of flesh” she said in low tones. “…Mary! Mary, Oh! Why me, didn’t I apologize”? Hot tears rolled down my cheek…and Ezekiel wept.

She then narrated to me how Mary’s mom had slept for more than 24 hours and ‘refused’ to wake the day after her husband had treated her badly; I also learnt that she (Mary’s elder sister) was Mary's step sister.
It has been 3hours since Mary’s hibernation. 3hours of rest and fun for her but pain and anguish for me. Almost the same duration she spent kneeling yesterday.
The principal sent for Mary’s mother and she reluctantly came. The principal had to send me home before the arrival of Mary’s mom.
 

A fellow teacher later explained to me how Mary’s mom had asked for my whereabouts and that Mary woke up immediately her mother called at her.
I told my parents when they returned, they prayed for me and admonished me to be closer to God and that God had saved me from Mary’s plan. The next morning, I woke up as early as I cleaned my dusty bible; as I read, Genesis 1:1 “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth”. A true Christian was born.
I tendered my letter of resignation at the end of the month.